God, you said this stuff was true about my life.  You said I would have huge responsibilities for you.  You said it was going to happen.  God, I’m going to trust you with those huge things.  I’m going to trust I cannot make them for myself – even though that drives me crazy.  I’m going to trust that you actually love me, and that your ideas for my life are better for me than mine.  I’m going to trust that your promises are true.  I’m going to trust that you’re a huge God that doesn’t let us down.  I’m going to trust that something big is coming to me.  I’m going to trust that you’ve got it coming.  I’m going to trust that you’re positioning me right where you want me right now.  I’m going to trust the arc of my life that brought me to you and the arc into the distance I cannot see.  I’m going to just believe right now, even though I have no idea.

I’m terrified.  This is hard.  I want to believe really deeply.  I want my BFF to believe really deeply too.  I want her mom’s leg to be healed.  I want all these huge prayers to be answered, confirmed, responded to, God, just blow it up, make it real.  Protect our hearts.  Make us whole again.